After several days of trying to do business banking online and getting nowhere with the bank’s computer program, I decided to speak to a human being.  No help, she said according to their records I wasn’t entitled to sign checks for my very own business, despite the fact that I’m the only person here and the only person who has signed checks here for the past eleven years…

I told her that.  She decided to transfer my call to a second person who could straighten things out, put me on hold and somehow disconnected my call altogether.

I waited a day before calling back, got a second lady, went through the entire situation with her and got put on hold again while she researched my account.  After three minutes a third woman came on, asking “Can I help you?”  What happened to the lady I was holding for, I wondered.  Apparently she had “accidentally” dropped my call out of the system.

Trying to be patient, a hard thing with me, I reiterated the problem.  She could help me, this lady claimed — wait just a moment, I will get things straight for you, take the wrong name off your account and be sure your name is on, okay, all fixed, she said.  Then she hung up.  I went back online using the new information she had given me and nothing worked.  Again.

So I gave up and decided to change banks, which is what I should have done in the first place, probably.  When I discovered they had not updated my business records in eleven years, despite the fact that I was told a month ago that everything was up to date on my account, that should have been a clue that things aren’t exactly efficient over there.
So I have started the process of moving the drafts (so convenient, drafts) and tomorrow morning I will open a brand new business account elsewhere.

I went back online and notified the bank that I was giving up on trying to do online business with them and would be moving my account as soon as practical.  So of course this morning I got a phone call from a man at the bank, wanting to help me learn how to do online banking.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I told him thanks but no thanks, I was going to be moving my account, told him why, and said that I appreciated his call anyway.  Really — help me learn?  Somebody needs to help their customer service staff learn.
I’m trying not to lose my cool over “small stuff,” really I am.  Tim used to do all this banking stuff and he was very good at it.  He was good at being patient, too.  I am not very good at it yet but I’m trying.

Lord, help me with all this, please.