Returning to normal… not yet…

Yesterday was so very different from my normal Sundays. I thought about visiting some other church, just to not be surrounded by sympathetic people who really don’t want to make me cry, they just can’t help it. But I went to my own church after all and I’m glad I did. Terry preached a message that seemed just for me and I didn’t cry when people expressed their sympathy. After lunch, though, the afternoon hour when I usually visited or called Ora Lee seemed so strange, empty and lonely.

Ora Lee wasn’t my birth mother but she had grown so precious to me after Tim and I were married. My own mother died in 1970 and Ora Lee was like my second mother. I know she’s in the midst of a wonderful crowd of family and friends, catching up on all the news. One arm around T.C., another arm around Tim, Theron and her mom with their arms around the whole bunch of them – I can visualize her like that today.

And I can see Ora Lee with her lists, her notebook and pen making lists of everybody she wants to visit, everything she wants to see, and all the prayers she still wants to pray for those of us back here on earth. What I don’t see is the toothpicks she always had nearby! No walker, either.

Since she was “only” my mother-in-law, most people have no idea how important Ora Lee was to me. She was Tim’s life-giver twice, his life-saver, his life-preserver, his pray-er, his friend and listening ear and adviser and encourager, and because of that she was mine too.

I returned to my volunteer work at the ship’s office today and actually was able to do some work. Many team members are away right now so the office was quiet. It wasn’t as noisy as normal, but that was okay. I’m not up to normal yet.

Surrounded by love

Ora Lee Cox (Tim’s mother) died this morning about 9 AM at McLeod Hospice House in Florence.  The aide said she was helping Ora Lee with her breakfast and asked if she wanted a bite of apple sauce.  Ora Lee said, “not right now,” then lay back and was simply gone.

She had taken the news about T.C.’s death pretty hard but seemed to be okay, until she fell and broke her hip on Sunday morning.  She had a heart attack when she fell and the damage was pretty bad.  Surgery to repair her hip was not an option, even if she had been willing – which she wasn’t.  Over this week she had grown weaker and weaker, and her tired heart just finally stopped this morning.

But today she is surrounded by her beloved mother Annie, husband Theron, son Tim, grandson T.C., and all the other loved friends and family members who preceded her – and we’re so grateful for that.

Visitation will be at Williamsburg Funeral Home, 332 E. Main Street in Kingstree, on Tuesday afternoon June 17th from 5 – 7 PM.  Funeral service will be at the Kingstree United Methodist Church, 510 N. Longstreet St., Kingstree, on Wednesday afternoon at 1:00 PM with burial at Bethesda United Methodist Church Cemetery in Cades.

Memorials may be made to the American Diabetes Association, P. O. Box 11454, Alexandria, VA 22312.

Thank you for your prayers for the entire Cox family. This has been a very hard week, as you can imagine.

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Please read “Why” and “Que sera” on my other WordPress blog, Esther’s petition.

Look after Mama

Tim’s mom Ora Lee Cox took the news about T.C.’s death pretty hard last Saturday, but she seemed to be doing okay until early Sunday morning. She was getting out of bed when she fell, breaking her hip and suffering a pretty serious heart attack as a consequence. She has been in the hospital since that time until yesterday, when she was transferred to the McLeod Hospice House. Her heart damage is too great for her to undergo surgery to repair the hip fracture – and she told the doctors she didn’t want surgery in any case.

Although she is awake, she’s very tired and has a hard time talking to the multitude of visitors she has every day. At nearly 89 with a history of heart problems, arthritis and kidney failure, her family knows that every day she’s still with us is a true gift from God.

Ora Lee has asked me a number of times since Tim died – “Why am I still here?” I have told her it’s because she knows how to pray in faith for her family and friends, and she does pray for them every single day.

None of us know just how great a warfare goes on all around us in the spirit world. “It’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you…” and we have an enemy out to get us. The prayers of the saints like my faithful and much loved mother-in-law Ora Lee are not just “make work” activities for those who can’t do anything else. These prayers are God’s equipment, tools and weapons to get his kingdom built, expanded and established on the earth.

So why was T.C. killed? There’s one thing I know – it wasn’t because “God needed another rosebud in heaven,” like I heard in a funeral one time. It’s simply because the spiritual enemy got to his physical body. But the most the enemy can do to a believer is make him go to heaven early!

When I was debating about whether to go to T.C.’s funeral or stay with Ora Lee at the hospital, clear as a bell I could hear Tim say, “Look after Mama.” And so I have been staying with her, talking with her, praying for her, helping her with her meals, being as sure as I could be that her care was good and appropriate and that her pain was minimized as much as possible.

Ora Lee may soon be joining her mother, her spouse, son and grandson. We’ll miss her dreadfully and we’ll miss her faithful prayers for us all. For our sakes, I pray that the Lord will let us keep her with us a long time yet.

Some joy and light went out today

Tim’s 19 year old nephew and namesake, Timothy Carrol – T.C. – Cox died today.  A rising college sophomore at USC, T.C. worked during school breaks at Drunken Jack’s restaurant at Murrells Inlet.  After getting off work last night, he and another young man were driving on a street near their home.  T.C. lost control of his car, the car left the road, flipped, and both boys were thrown out.  T.C. was killed, and his friend is in the hospital in pretty bad condition.

T.C. was born on January 19, 1989 while Tim was still in the hospital in Minnesota after his kidney/pancreas transplant.  It was such a joy to learn that his parents had named him Timothy in honor of my husband.

He was always such a loving, cheerful, helpful young man.  Even as a little boy he was full of laughter and hugs.  I can see him in heaven now with his granddaddy Theron and his Uncle Tim, surprised to be there so early in his life, but excited to learn everything he can learn, and do everything there is to do.  He is surrounded by loving, welcoming family, and I am sure he’s giving them the same big hugs he always gave Tim and me here on earth.

Not as good as hoped, better than reported

I enjoyed the latest Indiana Jones movie, despite the fact that it had a slightly peculiar, different type of sci-fi thread running through it. Anything Harrison Ford stars in is okay with me, and several of his older non-Indy movies have been playing on TV lately.  I especially liked the touch of romance and the way it turned out in the end.  If you haven’t seen it, I think you should.  Ignore some of the critics.

Now I’m looking forward to the next X-Files movie scheduled to come out in July. Now, there’s real true-blue science fiction and fantasy for you. I don’t think I missed very many of the television episodes, although there were a few I didn’t like and wished afterward I had missed!

When I wake up early enough (lately my little gray fuzz ball has been meowing me awake at 5 AM), I watch old, old re-runs of the original Star Trek on TV Land.

Compared to the later versions, they are a bit hokey with thread-bare plots.  Still, I could probably watch the Trouble with Tribbles once a year and still get a kick out of it.

I love the Voyager series (playing now; I watch one or two a week when I can) for the technology, the music, the plots and sub-plots, and the relationship stories that flesh out the characters. I like all of the Star Trek series, actually, and wouldn’t mind seeing every episode of all of them again. Deep Space 9 had some of the funniest characters and episodes. They would be very entertaining to see again this summer, when so few of my favorites are in re-re-runs!